My Dark Vanessa, by Kate Elizabeth Russell

 Hey guys, this is Abi here, 

And today I'm posting my first review of 2021! 

It's a slightly controversial book, too. 

To say I'm nervous about writing this is an understatement. 

If you've seen the title, you already know the book. 

It's My Dark Vanessa. 

Enjoy. 

Title: My Dark Vanessa

Author: Kate Elizabeth Russell 

Genre: Fiction/crime 

Status: Standalone 

Pages: 369

Blurb: "Vanessa Wye was fifteen years old when she first had

sex with her English teacher. 

Now the teacher, Jacob Strane, has been accused of 

sexual abuse by another former student, and a journalist 

has asked Vanessa to contribute to a story about him. 

But no one seems to understand that what Vanessa and 

Strane had together wasn't abuse. It was love. 

Wasn't it?" 

My Thoughts

I'm so nervous about approaching this book. Not only is it a controversial choice but, if I write one wrong statement, I'm going to get nailed to the wall. It's also why I'm confused as for what to rate this book. I'll get into that in a bit. 

But, nervous or not, this is a book that needs to be talked about- because I have a lot of thoughts on it. 

First off, I want to say that My Dark Vanessa was a heavy, heavy book, with some very difficult scenes in it. Trigger warnings include sexual abuse, child pornography, rape, grooming, emotional manipulation, pedaphilia, and the only reason why I was able to get through this is because I have no personal experience with those themes myself, so if any of those are trigger warnings for you then I would steer clear of this book. 

In some of the scenes throughout this book, I had to close it for a moment to take a breath because some of what I read was so plainly grooming and manipulation. Some of the lines in this had me biting my lip, let me tell you that, because they hit hard. 

My Dark Vanessa takes place at two different points in Vanessa's life, and it jumps from each of them, chapter to chapter. One part is Vanessa at the age of fifteen, going back to Browick after the summer, the other part takes place when Vanessa is thirty-two, when the accusations begin against Strane. I thought a chapter per POV was perfect, because each chapter was enough of a relief from the other part, a change of pacing. I never felt like I was getting too much from either perspective. Also, it made it incredibly easy to remember where each chapter had left off. 

Vanessa was an incredibly fleshed out and realistic protagonist to follow. She was written so well that she felt like a real person, she didn't feel rushed at all. She was self-aware enough to recognise the after-effects of what had happened to her, years later, yet naive enough as a fifteen-year-old, to get swept up in what she thought was a romantic love affair with her English teacher. 

Through her, we as readers are able to see what the relationship looks like and what's blatant grooming from the hands of Strane. 

Despite the difficult topic subject, Kate Russell did a phenomenal job in the writing of this novel. If I hadn't already found out during my research of this book, there's no way I would have thought that this was her debut novel. Perfectly written. Gritty and hard to read, but not too graphic that the book bordered on cruel, I'm intrigued as to what she'll choose to write about with her next release, if Russell can pull this off for her debut. 

One final note, before I wrap this up. I liked how the book didn't just centre around Vanessa and Strane. I feel like it might have been a bit too much if it had been. Although the other characters were just side characters, they were fleshed out enough that they were remorable. They played their part in moving the story along. 

All in all, I'm still unsure as for what rating I should give this. Extremely well-written, realistic characters, nothing felt rushed, everything included felt deliberate and important (as hard as it was to read about), but to rate it 5 stars would be to say that I liked it. We'll have to see what I stick with. 

Okay, that puts my review to an end. Let me know your thoughts in the comment, if there's a book I would like to discuss, it would certainly be this one. 

I hope you have a wonderful evening and I'll see you all soon! 

Byeeeee! 

-Abi xxxxx