You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone, by Rachel Lynn Soloman

 Hey guys, this is Abi here, 

And tonight I read half of You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone, (and no I do not regret it). I have so many thoughts and feelings surrounding this book that I decided to make a review out of it, before they all run out my brain and into the air (this happens so often, I swear to god). 

Without further ado, here are my crazy, messed up feelings about this book. 

I hope you enjoy it. 

Title: You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone

Author: Rachel Lynn Soloman

Genre: Hard-hitting contemporary

Status: Standalone

Release date:2/1/2018

Pages: 373

Blurb: "Eighteen-year--old twins Adina and Tovah have little

in common besides their ambitious nature. Viola prodigy Adina yearns to 

become a soloist- and to convince her music teacher he wants her the way she

wants him. Overachiever Tovah awaits her acceptance to Johns Hopkins, the

first step on her path towards med school and a career as a surgeon. 

But one thing could wreck their carefully planned future: a genetic test for

Huntington's, a rare degenerative disease that slowly steals control of the body 

and mind. It's turned their israel mother into a near stranger and fractured the 

sisters' own bond in ways they'll never admit. While Tovah finds comfort in their 

Jewish religion, Adina rebels against its rules. 

When the results come in, one twin tests negative for Huntington's. The other 

tests positive. 

These opposite outcomes push them further apart as they wrestle with guilt, 

betrayal, and the unexpected thrill of first love. How can they repair their rela-

tionship, and is it even worth saving? 

From debut author Rachel Lynn Soloman comes a luminous, heartbreaking

tale of life, death, and the fragile bond between sisters." 

My Thoughts

Phew-ee, what a book. I felt like I had stopped and the world had moved on without me when I read this. I was completely blown away by how emotional, how powerful it was that I genuinely felt stuck. 

Even now, a week later, I still can't get over the fact that this was a DEBUT novel. Like, since this was released, I know Rachel Lynn Soloman has released more (I'll be reading all of her other works very soon) but this was her first release, and honestly, for me it's up there with The Hate U Give, by Angie Thomas and Slated, by Teri Terry for me, it was that phenomenal a read. (Clearly, since I gave it 5 stars- which I predicted by the way!)

You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone is such an emotional book. It was always going to be when it's about fraternal twins, each with their own ambitions, one a career in music, one a career in medicine, with a test that reveals whether they'll inherit their mother's Huntington's disease when they're older. I was expecting to be sad about it all, but what I wasn't expecting was how realistic it all felt. 

There was no glamourising, none. You never felt like you were being shielded from seeing Adina & Tovah's mother slowly deteriorating through this book, and that ultimately made this book all the more heartbreaking, because you know that this is what Adina/Tovah will become, and there's no way to change that. 

Imagine knowing that, in 30 years, you'll inherit a disease, and that's going to be the thing that kills you. No choice in the matter, no way to stop it. That's it. It's tough to read about because you know that no matter how long it is until you start to develop symptoms, you're a ticking time bomb. Even time you trip, or drop something, you think. This is it. How it starts. Constantly looking over your shoulder for your time. Cos it's coming. 

And on the other side- survivors guilt. Knowing that you shouldn't be happy, shouldn't be chasing your dreams, planning things, because it could just as easily have been you that got the curse. 

But planning nevertheless. That was part of the struggle that these sisters went through, and because they don't get along, (well that's a bit of an understatement) they're constantly struggling with this on their own. That's part of what's so frustrating for you as a reader, because you so want them to be able to work things out and make up, and when you think they're starting to get closer, one of them does something that sends them spirally back into- almost enemies. 

Another part that I liked about this was the religious aspect to it. I've read some books before that have a theme of religion to them- religions that I wasn't familiar with- like with this one- and I haven't had the best time with them. But with You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone, it was there, it was a noticeable theme, but I didn't groan inwardly when it was mentioned. It was integrated in- it was too prominently a part of Tovah's character not to be- but it was never pushed in my face, which I liked a lot. 

Aside from everything to do with Huntington's disease, and the religious side to the book, there were the ordinary parts to Adina & Tovah's lives too. Applying to University, their passions and hobbies, romances for each of them. These two girls, they're chalk and cheese. 

Adina has dedicated her whole life to playing the Viola- being a soloist in front of thousands of fans- to travel the world on tours. She knew what she wanted, and she knew how to get it. You could feel the passion she had for playing the Viola- the way she needed to play her instrument- not wanted to. 

-Tovah went in the opposite direction- AP kid, very much top of the class, all the extra curriculum activities. But what she wanted the most, what she desperately wanted to do, was go to Johns Hopkins, take pre-no med and become a surgeon. She had a plan, a genuine four year plan that could not fail. 

Honestly, it was amazing how so much could be packed into just one 400 page book. I never felt like I needed time to remember where each aspect of the book had paused because it was all so cleverly written and balanced out. The book jumps from the twins' perspective, and I never got bored of either twin, which must have been difficult to do as they're so different. 

Overall, such a wonderful read. Huntington's is a horrible disease that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but I'm so happy that this book excists and that I was able to read it. This book is so underrated and I wish more people would read this because it's truly magnificant. 

It was nice to read a book about Huntington's because I don't think I've read a book about this disease yet. We need more books about these kinds of diseases/ conditions, so everyone can know about them! 

I can't recommend this enough guys, literally! Cos 5 stars. 

As you can probably tell, this will definitely be on my favourites list for the year. 

This book is a diamond in the rough. 

Go and read it guys, it's amazing. 

And I'm done. 

Okay! That's my review for You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone, by Rachel Lynn Soloman! 

I hope you enjoyed reading about my thoughts, and if you have any thoughts, let me know down below! (Or if you have any recommendations based on this book.) 

I hope you have a wonderful day and I'll see you all soon! 

Byeeeee! 

-Abi xxxxx